“The beauty of the imposter syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of, ‘I’m a fraud! Oh God, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!’ So you just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it, and then slide through the idea of fraud.” – Tina Fey.
Now if even Tina, can feel like that, a very obviously successful woman, is it any wonder that millions of women all over the world who run successful businesses or have carved out significant careers at home and found a way to work freelance that works for them. Have unbelievable skills, and go above and beyond for their clients.
Is it any wonder that those women feel like imposters?
What can you do to get beyond that feeling?
Image from KaboomPics
Try to accept that you have a role in your success. Part of the issue is that you haven’t really taken time to internalize your success. You have worked hard, made sacrifices, and every success you have had in your working life is down to you. Beginning to accept it was you, means you’ll slowly put down the feeling of being a participant in your life and realize you are a leader.
There is likely someone that you have been comparing yourself to, and probably for a very long time – but that serves no one. If you are comparing your work, your income, your house, or your achievements to someone then maybe you should just stop doing anything? No? By continually comparing oneself to others, we set a yardstick we will never reach – because we are not that person. If you find yourself looking at their Instagram, facebook, twitter or anything similar it might be time to put yourself on a bit of a ban.
If you have ever made a mistake, like sending an email to the wrong person, a miscommunication, or not finished a piece of work up to the standard you had intended – it doesn’t make you any less. Soccer players miss shots, investment bankers lose money, and inevitably we all make mistakes. You don’t have to celebrate your perceived failures, use them as a point of reference to learn from and if you have made a mistake somewhere, it shows you are trying.
Treat yourself. As you go along try to treat yourself to moments or things – whichever you prefer. If you have a set space think about little things like plaques, plants, or art prints to commemorate moments in your business and personal growth. If you need an excellent mindful workout, treat yourself to a hot yoga session, a personal trainer session, or how about something a bit more flashy, set a goal and when you reach it a piece of jewelry.
Whatever you do, start by accepting that you are good at what you do, you can and will make mistakes, and most importantly you are not an imposter – you are exactly where you should be.