Do you know deep down inside that there’s more for you than what you’re currently living? Do you dream of going back to school or starting your own business, but you haven’t taken action because of fear?
Sometimes, we look at other people who have already achieved what we perceive as success and wonder what they have that we don’t. You may even go as far as to assume that successful people have something special or something amazing that you just weren’t blessed to have.
Maybe they had better parents, a better childhood, or more education. You could pick just about anything from a long list of reasons to explain why you can’t do “that thing” but other people can.
What would happen if you actually tried to do that thing that is hidden inside you?
How would you feel if tomorrow you woke up smack in the middle of your perfect life and living in your purpose?
I bet you would feel wonderful! But there’s something standing in your way. For most women that is fear.
Most times, people are afraid to fail. So, what happens?
Fear shows up, and you push your dream further away, burying it deep inside of you. Without realizing it, you’re allowing fear to hold you captive behind false evidence that’s causing you to believe that you’re not good enough to make it happen.
Fear is deceitful and can show up in different ways. Fear of failure is common, but you may also have a fear of being judged or fear of succeeding at something (yes – this is true). Fear of being rejected, fear of the unknown, and fear of not being good enough are also common.
According to Psychology Today, these fears are better summarized under fear of shame, and shame is something we try to avoid. While fear in general is unpleasant, fear of shame can be toxic.
So the question becomes, is it even possible to get past fear and really get what you want in life?
Lisa Nichols said it best, “Know that fear will always be in the car with you; you just have to make sure that it’s not driving.”
Wait, what?? THAT is powerful!
Take note of what Lisa did not say. She didn’t say, “Here are three steps to completely get rid of fear and finally be successful in life.”
She also didn’t say, “Here are some little-known secrets of smart and successful people who never feel afraid.” Instead, she acknowledges that fear will always be there, and that you have to know how to manage it.
Her directive is simple.
When fear attempts to steer you away from your dreams, take control of the wheel. Tell fear to hop in the back seat, and get back on the road to your dreams.
To know that it’s ok to be afraid, and that everyone faces fear is so liberating! You don’t have to feel bad if you’re afraid or nervous about doing something new. You just have to manage your fear and stay in control.
A few years ago when I was facing a terrible divorce, I was afraid of everything – afraid that I wouldn’t have enough money to pay my mortgage; that I wouldn’t be a good mom now that I didn’t have a husband to help out; that my kids would hate me and think the divorce was my fault; that I would never be able to trust another man or fall in love.
Looking back, I realize that I was afraid of the unknown. I had never been separated from my husband before, and I didn’t know if I was going to be ok.
I didn’t know how I would take care of my children, pay the mortgage, and all the bills while only working part-time. But what I did know was that I couldn’t stay in that situation. I knew that it wasn’t healthy for me or my children, and that we deserved more, so I had to push past my fear and take control of my life.
Would it be strange then to say that you should embrace fear?
Fear is natural, especially when moving toward something new – whether that’s a big dream, a divorce, a career change, or something else. Fear never goes away. However, when you accept that fear will always be in the car with you, and you learn how to manage it, then you’re on the road to your dreams.
I challenge you to start accepting fear for what it really is – false evidence that appears real. Fear is in your mind and can only defeat you if you give it power to do so.
No matter what you were told as a child or what your past experiences were, know that you are powerful and capable of creating what you want in your life.
Abundance, happiness, and peace are within your reach. If you’re not living the life of your dreams right now, maybe it’s because you’ve allowed fear to get in your way.
Decide today that living your dream is bigger than your fear. You have what it takes. Give yourself permission to own your dream, and go after it.